Hamhakhim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking beaver.

Hamhakhim created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamhakhim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hamhakhim, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hamhakhim's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hamhakhim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never mention tortoises.

5. Pray towards the north.