Bifkemdad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous cat.

Bifkemdad created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bifkemdad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifkemdad, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bifkemdad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bifkemdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must love Bifkemdad.