Cintabrut is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, thoughtless spider.

Cintabrut created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cintabrut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cintabrut, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cintabrut's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cintabrut's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Cintabrut.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Never mention capybaras.