Arfcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awesome clam.

Arfcuss created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Arfcuss, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arfcuss, he will not care at all.

Arfcuss' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Arfcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Arfcuss loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not eat corn.

3. Worship no other gods but Arfcuss.

4. You must never eat pineapples.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Arfcuss.