Begrotdav is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, awe-inspiring guinea pig.

Begrotdav created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begrotdav, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Begrotdav, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Begrotdav's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Begrotdav's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Begrotdav.

2. Begrotdav loves mice, so they must be respected.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.