Lograndad is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unfair ant.

Lograndad created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lograndad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lograndad, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lograndad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lograndad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.