Jarndubnil Stighenquat Fagbemhiggankopkem is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, passionate chicken.

Jarndubnil Stighenquat Fagbemhiggankopkem created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarndubnil Stighenquat Fagbemhiggankopkem, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jarndubnil Stighenquat Fagbemhiggankopkem, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jarndubnil Stighenquat Fagbemhiggankopkem's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Jarndubnil Stighenquat Fagbemhiggankopkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Run away from brown sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never look in ponds.