Nutcub is a god.

It takes the form of a small, grumpy otter.

Nutcub created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutcub, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nutcub, it will turn you into a rat.

Nutcub's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nutcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Nutcub loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must never eat spinach.