Quafsaktin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous jaguar.

Quafsaktin created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafsaktin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafsaktin, he will turn you into a mole.

Quafsaktin's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Quafsaktin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Quafsaktin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.