Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awe-inspiring mole.

Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab, he will send you a sign.

Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bodarn Nuttbegdogflatmotponfotlab.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never look in ponds.