Ratfitjat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, passionate aardvark.

Ratfitjat created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratfitjat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ratfitjat, he will turn you into a duck.

Ratfitjat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Ratfitjat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Ratfitjat on top of important buildings.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ratfitjat.