Parkfenwee is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unfair meerkat.

Parkfenwee created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Parkfenwee, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Parkfenwee, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Parkfenwee's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Parkfenwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Parkfenwee on top of all buildings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always help gulls.