Honmitsit Flisdapgut Quamxucxem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, duplicitous eagle.

Honmitsit Flisdapgut Quamxucxem created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honmitsit Flisdapgut Quamxucxem, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Honmitsit Flisdapgut Quamxucxem, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Honmitsit Flisdapgut Quamxucxem's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Honmitsit Flisdapgut Quamxucxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Always take life seriously.