Lopfenxen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, narcissistic naga.

Lopfenxen created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lopfenxen, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lopfenxen, it will manifest in front of you.

Lopfenxen's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lopfenxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Run away from yellow mites, for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured squirrels.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.