Ratbugmot is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, pitiless aardvark.

Ratbugmot created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratbugmot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ratbugmot, she will remove you from existence.

Ratbugmot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Ratbugmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away if six voles approach from the east.

5. Feed all hungry moths.