Dumladdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, slow toad.

Dumladdoss created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumladdoss, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dumladdoss, he will turn you into a goat.

Dumladdoss' most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dumladdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Never eat bark.