Mumrowquim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fussy ant.

Mumrowquim created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumrowquim, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Mumrowquim, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Mumrowquim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Mumrowquim's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Mumrowquim six times a day.

2. Never feed oranges to rats while wearing black shoes.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never write about gravity.