Mil is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, witty beaver.

Mil created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mil, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mil, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mil's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Mil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Mil loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.