Canquagspag Cumhotart is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, generous hare.

Canquagspag Cumhotart created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canquagspag Cumhotart, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Canquagspag Cumhotart, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Canquagspag Cumhotart's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Canquagspag Cumhotart's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of capybaras.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away from orange geese, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.