Buspangbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented hedgehog.

Buspangbarn created bats two million years ago.

If you believe in Buspangbarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Buspangbarn, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Buspangbarn's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Buspangbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Buspangbarn.

2. Run away from violet bats, for they are unholy.

3. You must pray to Buspangbarn seven times a day.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.