Dissxucshav is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent bee.

Dissxucshav created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissxucshav, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dissxucshav, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Dissxucshav's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dissxucshav's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Respect your elders.