Rullsomgig is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, thoughtless human.

Rullsomgig created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rullsomgig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Rullsomgig, she will manifest in front of you.

Rullsomgig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Rullsomgig's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Run away from purple snails, for they are unholy.

5. You must pray to Rullsomgig eight times a day.