Bonkbumpingovfossmet is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered shark.

Bonkbumpingovfossmet created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbumpingovfossmet, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bonkbumpingovfossmet, it will not care.

Bonkbumpingovfossmet's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bonkbumpingovfossmet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three rats approach from the south.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never feed peas to dolphins while wearing purple rings.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Run away if six tortoises approach from the west.