Hamflapdib Kimganquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, two-faced elephant.

Hamflapdib Kimganquaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Hamflapdib Kimganquaf, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamflapdib Kimganquaf, it will be very sad.

Hamflapdib Kimganquaf's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hamflapdib Kimganquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to snails while wearing purple tights.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.