Lakquafgup is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent mink.

Lakquafgup created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakquafgup, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lakquafgup, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Lakquafgup's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Lakquafgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of doves.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.