Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow dugong.

Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Put Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart first in all things.

5. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Listbedwot Paktabren Yarlwapquart on top of important buildings.