Yogquafcid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish penguin.

Yogquafcid created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogquafcid, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yogquafcid, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Yogquafcid's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Yogquafcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not take Yogquafcid's name in vain.

5. Yogquafcid loves rats, so they must be respected.