Wottan is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, passionate mouse.

Wottan created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wottan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wottan, it will turn you into a puffin.

Wottan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Wottan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always help gulls in need.

4. You must pray to Wottan seven times a day.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.