Cudlagrenfab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, witty dog.

Cudlagrenfab created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudlagrenfab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cudlagrenfab, he will turn you into a tree.

Cudlagrenfab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Cudlagrenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from magenta hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Hide if seven mites approach from the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

4. You must pray to Cudlagrenfab four times a day.

5. Do not stand on grass.