Tapstipwan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty goblin.

Tapstipwan created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Tapstipwan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tapstipwan, he will ignore you.

Tapstipwan's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tapstipwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Tapstipwan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.