Lanlatkin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited human.

Lanlatkin created the Tadpole Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlatkin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lanlatkin, it will turn you into a puffin.

Lanlatkin's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lanlatkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to ants while wearing green stockings.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Whales are not to be trusted.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not stand on grass.