Bittettibit is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy dolphin.

Bittettibit created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bittettibit, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bittettibit, she will strike you with lightening.

Bittettibit's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bittettibit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight cats approach from the south.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.