Vonkcarflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous mouse.

Vonkcarflig created the Black Eye Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcarflig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonkcarflig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonkcarflig's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vonkcarflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vonkcarflig's priests.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always take life seriously.