Pannarllig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, narcissistic cow.

Pannarllig created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pannarllig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pannarllig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pannarllig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Pannarllig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.