Cisslarnsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured centipede.

Cisslarnsaw created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cisslarnsaw, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cisslarnsaw, it will laugh at you.

Cisslarnsaw's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cisslarnsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of whales.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.