Bessarpmon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, self-confident squid.

Bessarpmon created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessarpmon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bessarpmon, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bessarpmon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bessarpmon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not covet oxen.