Wotnegpon is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witless scorpion.

Wotnegpon created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnegpon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wotnegpon, she will turn you into a sheep.

Wotnegpon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Wotnegpon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Wotnegpon on top of all buildings.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.