Madteenhig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, quiet bear.

Madteenhig created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madteenhig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Madteenhig, it will not care at all.

Madteenhig's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Madteenhig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine nematodes approach from the south.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Never eat bark.