Bepsagkar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, generous gerbil.

Bepsagkar created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepsagkar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bepsagkar, he will be very unhappy.

Bepsagkar's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bepsagkar's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bepsagkar first in all things.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about pigs.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.