Kamhakneg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, strong squid.

Kamhakneg created oxygen seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamhakneg, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kamhakneg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kamhakneg's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Kamhakneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kamhakneg.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.