Bigpibxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, proud tapir.

Bigpibxuc created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigpibxuc, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bigpibxuc, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bigpibxuc's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Bigpibxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Put Bigpibxuc first in all things.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.