Goffossraw Sabjabstig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless squid.

Goffossraw Sabjabstig created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goffossraw Sabjabstig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Goffossraw Sabjabstig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Goffossraw Sabjabstig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Goffossraw Sabjabstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Goffossraw Sabjabstig.

2. Never wear violet coats.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.