Kikfabcad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, proud newt.

Kikfabcad created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikfabcad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kikfabcad, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kikfabcad's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kikfabcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not take Kikfabcad's name in vain.

5. Do not shave your arms.