Bemsatsas is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unselfish lion.

Bemsatsas created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemsatsas, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bemsatsas, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bemsatsas' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bemsatsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to swans while wearing mauve shoes.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never wear pink hats.

5. Hamsters are not to be trusted.