Yartpaghon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, omnipotent elephant.

Yartpaghon created life six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartpaghon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yartpaghon, he will not invite you to parties.

Yartpaghon's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Yartpaghon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Put Yartpaghon first in all things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yartpaghon.