Hamzanaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, happy grasshopper.

Hamzanaf created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hamzanaf, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hamzanaf, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hamzanaf's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Hamzanaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Run away if three monkeys approach from the east.

5. Never talk about fire.