Japlikdon Madnatyam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous rhinoceros.

Japlikdon Madnatyam created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Japlikdon Madnatyam, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Japlikdon Madnatyam, he will be very unhappy.

Japlikdon Madnatyam's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Japlikdon Madnatyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.