Batlibsasstrag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, boastful centipede.

Batlibsasstrag created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Batlibsasstrag, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Batlibsasstrag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Batlibsasstrag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Batlibsasstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Put Batlibsasstrag first in all things.

3. Feed all hungry tortoises.

4. Worship no other gods but Batlibsasstrag.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.