Zedaflak is a god.

It takes the form of a small, bad-tempered scorpion.

Zedaflak created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Zedaflak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zedaflak, it will not care.

Zedaflak's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Zedaflak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Erect six platinum sculptures of Zedaflak on top of important buildings.

5. Never mention swans.