Nibyarlkom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, almighty guinea pig.

Nibyarlkom created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Nibyarlkom, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nibyarlkom, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nibyarlkom's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nibyarlkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Nibyarlkom loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.